24 May 2008

Old Blog Replay: Nobody'sGirl

I had an old blog from the good ole pop days of MySpace. I just revisited the old pages and needed to post this one entry here:

Monday, November 06, 2006

The Curse: Nobody's Girl
Current mood: gloomy

I have written a blog and my browser fucked up last night. It maybe a sign of the things that need not to be known or in this case, might be too much cynical to be repressed outwardly towards my dear friends and spectators of life.

I had just been contemplating on the fact that I do not do anything wrong but that itself seems wrong to people. Being yourself and sharing your care and appreciation of people is such an anarchy that people tend to be hysterical about it.

But is it their fault? Sad how the world is too tainted by too many hangups from painful pasts. But when would you stop risking and letting yourself go through pain and disdain before you keep yourself inside a bubble again and be cold and bleak in your own world? Would you rather feel and keep on being disappointed and in the end appease yourself and say you did your best because you risked and pulled back up again? You still end up moping right?

All throughout this, I will always end up in my own vortex of "the curse of Zeus." I'll be a nobody's girl and will always end up here. Tough life but hell, that's the way it is. I want to feel colder and darker but i dont want this to be the end of me. Should I blame externally? Yes. Is this rude? No. Will you take a very violent reaction? Then do so.

I'll fade, roam another end of the road back towards the curse. That's the way and what matters is the journey in the middle of the vortex before I go back being a nobody's girl.

My soul won't be sold. Unless I want to consider murdering someone's heart but most likely I shall keep my faith. Who knows. I might be on the right track and breaking a curse will take someone beyond me to make.

Find me... I might not be around anymore, figuratively speaking.


Currently listening :
And Love Said No: Greatest Hits 1997-2004
By H.I.M. (His Infernal Majesty)
Release date: 11 May, 2004

This is still true to the fact... unfortunately.


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