I just have to write it down.
I have a good mate for years. A guy who is afraid to commit and all he wanted is hot sizzling monkey love with hot chicks that come along. Beyond that, nothing. We had been talking rarely lately but each time we get a chance to talk, same topic. I have moved on from one love story to the other stumbling and winning pinnacles of my life, it is still the same story with him.
I never get bored to listen and converse with him though, because I know that deep inside this guy, is someone who is thinking about something more he wanted and keep on denying that he also needed: someone to love and will love him back. Don't tell me that I am romanticising or over reacting but as a friend, I know better. Not just women think the same. We all are afraid of growing old alone.
He told me one time: "Maybe at some point, I'll find someone who will make me commit." And then the other: "I will never be ready to commit." And then the other: "It's going nowhere but sex is good."
All I hope for is that at some point, he will care enough to admit to himself that this lifestyle is getting tiring. That he won't date for ulterior reasons alone.
So maybe he did.
I saw his Facebook page albeit his status still says "single," I keep on seeing a lot of pictures of him with this woman. I've checked them out and told myself that what I'm thinking "can't be true." But seems like it. Only one way to find out. I sent him a message to ask if that woman in his photos are his "hmmm." He just replied and said "Yup, she's my girlfriend."
I was overwhelmed! The long time I have been hoping for! For 7 years I have known this guy, that G word never ever occurred. I can never be happier!
But I just realised something. Let's measure the flour into two parts:
Truth be told, men (or perhaps women) who are commitment-phobic will bend their own rule when that someone comes along. No scientific explanation here but there will always be someone that will knock us off our feet and realise that we have to take this love route and never care about anything else but happiness. That it is worth the risk from leaving your old lifestyle and logic. It is just the way it is. Amazing.
Getting deeper beyond BF-GF stage, some men have their "va-va-voom" moment when they know that this is the woman that they will marry even if they never plan nor think about it ever before. That moment of thunder just comes and captures them. Unfortunately, this never happens all the time. When you know, you know (well, most of the time).
Did my friend really found something special with this woman to finally commit or he lowered his standards and expectations because he realises that his clock is ticking and he's getting old and alone?
Some people resort to "Whatever. I'll just take it even though it doesn't fit well." Because the sale will close tonight. Because the purse is so pretty and it is the wrong colour but you buy it anyway because it is the "in" thing. Because you think that everybody in your group of friends are married but you. Because society said that a small dog in a Louis Vuitton bag are cool though it'll break your bank. Because a sex scandal tape will make you more popular.
Shortchanging won't solve anything. It will make things worse. You don't want to regret anything in your life when you look back.
I am not saying that you look for perfection anally. All I am saying that you know what fits you. No organised or fucked up society will tell you what to do but you. Besides, the cliche "nobody's perfect" is something to celebrate about. We are all beautifully imperfect and we have a choice. Our own time. Our own real moment.
It's just a little thought to provoke since this is a very interesting topic. I may probably never know what my friend really feels but I hope for the best for him-- that he finally found love and how superfragicalistic it feels.
After all, I care about my friends' happiness. I will always hope for their success, peace, ardor and everything great.